Welcome to Let’s Talk, the section where we answer questions from our readers regarding sex, sexuality, gender and related topics, brought to you by the student organization Sexual Empowerment and Awareness at Tennessee (SEAT).
This week’s question is: As someone with a penis, what are some great tips for making sex last longer?
What is premature ejaculation?
“You know, in the Old West, shooting faster was considered a good thing.” – Night at the museum
According toUrology Care FoundationPremature ejaculation is defined as “ejaculation before a person with a penis or their partner wants it during sex.” For context, the average period of time until ejaculation is usually around five to ten minutes. Premature ejaculation, according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), is ejaculation before 59 seconds.
Everyone has their own level of sensitivity which corresponds to the speed at which they can ejaculate. There is nothing medically or biologically wrong with premature ejaculation, so don’t worry about being ‘broke’ if you have premature ejaculation. This is just how you are!
However, it can cause problems in the sex life.
In this article, I will discuss the multitude of solutions to this problem and ultimately help improve your sex life!
There are a multitude of techniques to help improve orgasm control. Let’s start with the most popular – the border.
Edging is the act of getting to the edge of orgasm and then grabbing any stimulation until you are back to your baseline. This can be done over a long period of time to help identify when they are about to ejaculate and learn to slow down or stop completely before starting again.
There is also a technique called the pause-squeeze technique, which is quite similar to the edging that you can read onhere.
The previous link also covers pelvic floor exercises.
Every physical action in the body, including ejaculation, is associated with muscles. Pelvic floor exercises target the muscles responsible for ejaculation and give you more precise control over ejaculation.
Other exercises include kegels andinverted kegels. And here is another fantasticguide for kegels which has a special place in my heart. Andhere is another reading piece – this time a scientific research paper on said exercises.
But like any good exercise, you should always stretch for maximum results. Effective stretches include yoga, groin stretches, and, again, the gorgeous inverted kegel.
Keep in mind that you probably won’t see results for two to three weeks after starting these routines, so don’t be discouraged if you don’t see immediate results!
These exercises help intensify orgasms on their own and I think anyone who can do them should do them!
For every sexual problem, there always seems to be a toy out there to help combat it.
Premature ejaculation is no exception. At our disposal, we have the cockring and vibrators.
Cock rings can be made from a variety of materials and can be used in a variety of places. It can be located between the rod and the balls, the balls and the scrotum, or on your finger as a fashion statement. The purpose of the penis ring is to restrict blood flow to the penis and prevent ejaculation.
For a more complete guide to cock rings, please watchhere before buying and using one!
The other toy mentioned is a vibrator. You might be thinking, “But aren’t these primarily used for clitoral stimulation?” “And to that I answer:” I don’t know, maybe. However, we are not here to criticize the vibrator’s proper etiquette.
For us, we just place the vibrator on our penis and let the vibration do all the work. Our main focus here is to use it for edging by cutting off the power as we approach ejaculation.
Say, we’re not getting anywhere with our exercise routines that we’ve been trying for weeks now and the toys aren’t much fun either. Let’s take a look at numbing agents!
here is a little article about numbing spray if that seems a little dangerous or risky to you. You can also buy thicker condoms like those used for anal.
Fun fact, most pornstars use pills for their shoots because the length of a porn shoot isn’t realistic for mortal men to maintain an erection.
Medication is near the end of my suggestion list because I don’t think it’s the best long term solution to this problem. However, many people find pills to be the quickest and easiest solution to premature ejaculation.
There are still the classic pills like Viagra and the newer ones like the products offered byRoman.
Before using any medication, however, please consult a doctor.
Luckily, Roman offers online doctor visits that you can use if you’re too gentle to talk about it face to face. I don’t know how effective online appointments are, so if you can try making a men’s health appointment at the student health center or other medical facility.
Roman also has many other great products on offer, so it wouldn’t hurt to check them out!
Substitute with other acts
It’s time to face the easiest solution to your premature ejaculation problems and arguably the one everyone should start with: learning how to please your partner in another way.
Browse a montage from the 70s where you improve your speaking, handling or fingering skills.
There is nothing wrong with learning these ancient skills that will leave any partner so happy that they don’t care that you approached record speeds for the fastest ejaculation.
There are tons of resources out there that you can study and become a better lover!
Do you have a question about sex, sexuality or relationships? You can ask us to find you accurate and reliable information from experts by tweeting @SexWeekUT, directing @Sexweekut on Facebook, or submitting a question to ouranonymous google form.
Columns and letters in The Daily Beacon are the opinions of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views of Beacon or the Beacon editorial team.