Meghan King Edmonds faced more than its fair share of angst over the past year, but she wants fans to know that she survives.

The Former “Real Housewives of Orange County” wrote a candid blog post which details how she copes with the “trauma” in her life – including her unpleasant divorce from former MLB player Jim Edmonds, in the midst of a fraud scandal.

“Let me tell you something, some days I’m hanging on by a thread. Some times I can’t breathe. Sometimes I lie down and the bed vibrates, but I don’t: I aspen “, wrote the mom of three.

“I don’t like moments of loss and panic and total despair so I tried not to feel them at all,” she continued.

But after trying to block out “mind-numbing despair,” King Edmonds, 35, found herself physically and mentally exhausted. She developed a “severe” herniated disc in her neck, new food allergies and other debilitating illnesses.

It was then that she knew she had to find a better way to deal with her stress.

“Your brain has emotional pain, but you allow it to sit there and fester in the hidden caverns of your mind. It has nowhere to go despite its need being released: your pain is released in a physical way, so we learn to BE CAREFUL, ”she explained.

The reality TV star reminded fans that in addition to her breakup with Jim, she also learned last year that her 1-year-old son Hart was diagnosed with irreversible brain damage.

“Let’s go back: at this point my marriage was difficult, I had three very small children, I just stopped breastfeeding, I knew in my womb that one of my children had a disability but the doctors didn’t couldn’t figure it out and they looked like I was crazy (but I knew something was wrong, but I felt crazy … but I knew it anyway, “she continued.

Reading “The Mindbody Prescription: Healing the Body, Healing the Pain” by John E. Sarno, MD, helped her understand the benefits of “emotional releases”.

Soon she began to direct the outings on her own. At first, she just wrote lists of “everything that got me on my nerves”. Finally, she added a “long, long prayer of gratitude” as well as “affirmations of what I want in my life.”

“Fast forward to today. 11 months and MANY other traumatic events have happened in those months, but I was equipped to deal with it,” she wrote, adding that she also relied on his faith during difficult times.

Meghan now understands that the trauma she experienced “helps me grow, learn and empathize to help others.” Not only does she feel more “centered”, she is able to appreciate all the good in her life – “my children, Hart’s incredible progress, my health and the best friends and family around the world.”

“I decided to refuse to bear the anger. Therefore, I am not angry (although I have a lot of angry moments), ”she wrote. “And I refuse to allow my ego to make decisions. (But I still have an ego, I’m human after all.) “

Meghan teased her blog post on Instagram Tuesday by sharing a photo of herself meditating.

“Four months after my marital separation, I reached a place of silent acceptance and normalcy. This is how I survived with a real smile on my face,” she captioned.

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